Random Acts of Senselessness: SFB- From A Friend of Mine

Something that bothers me is what I call an "SFB" which I'll define in a moment. In a nutshell, an SFB is a type of person who doesn't want to cooperate with you and comes down with a bad case of the stupids to confound you. The first case of an SFB that I can recall is a guidance counselor I had in High School. She disliked my family for some reason and seemed to work overtime to screw up my older brother who was trying to apply for college. When my turn finally came around, I was summoned into her office where she greeted me cheerily as if we were long lost friends. I said to her frankly, "Look, let's not kid each other, you have no use for me and my family, and I frankly have no use for you. I am going to work through the principal instead of you."

She looked at me coyly and said, "Well, I don't know what you mean." She knew exactly what I meant, she just came down with a bad case of the stupids to cloak her dislike of me. I've come across this same type of scenario time and again as I got older, especially from government bureaucrats and people participating in nonprofit volunteer groups. They just look at you seemingly dumbfounded and say, "Gee, I don't know what you mean," or "Whatever gave you that idea?" This really bugs me. Instead of saying, "Look, I'm having a bad day, why don't you go away until I'm in the mood," or "Quit bothering me and talk to someone else." Even when you articulate your problem carefully, they pretend ignorance instead of trying to help you.

This SFB phenomenon is really disturbing in business, particularly in a Customer Service situation. Instead of looking for ways to help you, people look for ways to confound you so that you will take your problem elsewhere. I think this is why voice mail was invented, so people can pick and chose who they want to talk to.

I recognize there are times where it is necessary to practice tact and diplomacy when dealing with people, but pretending to be brainless is certainly not a good practice particularly when interacting with people on a regular basis is an inherent part of your job.

As I've mentioned in the past, I have a letter carrier who delivers mail to my office only when he is in the mood (which seems to be twice a week). When I confronted him about why he wasn't delivering our mail regularly, he became an SFB and feigned ignorance about what I was talking about. Even when I complained to his superior at the post office, he also became an SFB and pretended not to understand what I was talking about. I guess being an SFB is contagious.

So what exactly is an SFB? Actually, it's quite simple; it's three little letters representing: Shit for Brains.

Such is my Pet Peeve of the Week.